A Reddit user was facing criticism last week after seeming to insult his daughter-in-law about how she looked at her “surprise” wedding.
The angry father-in-law posted about the incident on Reddit’s “Am I the A–h—” forum.
According to the user, who has since deleted his account, his son and daughter-in-law were married eight months ago but didn’t tell anyone in advance that their ceremony was happening.
Instead, the bride and groom invited everyone to attend a cocktail party, which was eventually where the couple said “I do.”
The father of the groom explained that his wife unintentionally wore white to the event. In the United States, wedding guests typically tend to avoid wearing white as a means to not distract from the bride.
According to the Redditor, his wife frequently wears white, so the newlyweds should have known to warn them that it was a wedding. Instead, the bride has reportedly been blaming her mother-in-law for the fashion faux pas.
“For eight months she has been trying to spin it to make my wife look like some crazed MIL [mother-in-law] who showed up in a wedding dress,” the man wrote. “She had a wedding picture on social media and when someone commented who wore white, she wrote back ‘that’s my mother in law, she doesn’t like me’ and a laughing emoji.”
“My wife called her out on it and she played the victim and whined about my wife trying to upstage her,” the man added. “She has made a couple snide comments, and told people who weren’t at the wedding that it was intentional.”
Apparently, the groom eventually talked to his dad about the situation, explaining that the bride was hurt after her own mom and best friend commented on how “gorgeous” her mother-in-law looked, before saying anything about the bride herself in the wedding photos, the Redditor said.
“My wife used to model and not to be an a–, but she draws your eye much more than DIL [daughter-in-law],” the man wrote.
His son also told him that the bride “is insecure, and she has always felt insecure” around her mother-in-law.
“I don’t really care,” the man wrote. “I have a 15-year-old daughter, so I certainly get that woman struggle with body issues, but you don’t get to take that out on someone else and spread lies.”
Eventually, the man couldn’t take it anymore after the bride commented that the photo was “proof that she is the innocent one in the relationship.”
“I snapped at her that I am sick of hearing about the white dress, and that maybe if she put more effort into her own appearance she would have been a beautiful bride and people wouldn’t be looking at her MIL,” the man wrote. “She stormed off and my son is mad. He actually said his mom has great self esteem (she doesn’t) so we should take the high road.”
Regardless of the series of events leading up to his insult, other Redditors criticized the man’s outburst — though they also acknowledged that his daughter-in-law was also in the wrong.
“Insulting her looks was unnecessary,” one person commented. “If you’d said ‘Shut up about the white dress, you know that she only wore that because you told us it was a regular party and not a wedding, and I’m sick of hearing you lie about it,’ you’d be N-T-A [Not the A–h—] in my book.”
Another person agreed: “Exactly. You can defend your wife without being an a–h—. You also can’t throw a surprise wedding and then be p–sed that people weren’t dressed for a wedding.”